Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Open the New Year with a can of Whoop Ass!

Life can be a beautiful thing, especially when one can utter the phrase "opening a can of Whoop Ass" and mean it literally. Yes, in addition to covering fringe cinema and often overlooked music, I occasionally have dipped my toes in the fructose waters of strange soda reviews. So what better way to get things started then with the Jones soda product, Whoop Ass.

An energy drink that features Taurine, Royal Jelly and the sinister sounding Inositol. (Sounds like something that gives you anal bleeding and sexual dysfunction, doesn’t?)

Also features a pretty kicky label design that is anime-esque, minus the 12-year-old girls being assaulted by lurid tentacles.

Fun Fact:
Taurine is an amino acid like compound that helps absorb fat. It also has been related to congestive heart failure. Good times.

Royal jelly has been used to treat such ailments as asthma and Inositol has been connected to war crimes in the past 20th century. Fun fun!

The Gist:
Apparently revitalizes attitude and Restores faith in mankind.

The Taste:

The first second, it is almost sweet but then features the classic bitterness of energy drinks, which tends to taste like a combo of citric acid and a fairly potent cough drop. That said, Whoop Ass is a little more punchy and soda-like than say, Red Bull or that Sobe black can crap. The more I drink it, the more it reminds me of an alcoholic version of the bastard child of Fresca, Zima and an old Halls mint. Not that I have tried such a cocktail. No siree.

A tad bit disappointing, given the cool name and all. But it does feature a great design and has a nice energy kick, even for a hardened caffeine fiend like myself. While my attitude isn’t revitalized and my faith in humanity is still fairly shaky, I probably won’t sleep until four in the morning. Yay Whoop ass!

Three Caffeine-Induced Bouts of Insomnia out of Five

By the way, for the culinary curious out there, Whoop Ass is still in print and can be bought off the Jones Soda website.