When one thinks of the classic
tell-tale images of a typical William Castle film, what exactly comes
to mind? An arm rising out of a bloody bathtub? A skeleton tapping a
lovely, scared lass's shoulder? An aging Joan Crawford holding an
axe? One swanky Vincent Price? How about an intrepid, undercover
spy/blonde piece of jail bait in the form of Candy Hull? Okay, the
latter more than likely is not the first or fifth thing you think of
when it comes to Castle, but exist it does in the form of his 1963
film, “13 Frightened Girls!”
Despite the spider-web laden trailer,
horror fans be warned, this is a total rosy-cheeked, borderline safe
for the happiest-place-on-Earth crowd spy film, filled with teenage
hijinks and brimming with girlish shenanigans. Proof? The proceedings
begin at Miss Pittford's Academy for Young Girls, an idyllic school
set in the Swiss Alps (or San Bernandino) for perfectly groomed,
clean-skinned and lovely-as-a-Spring-flower daughters of world
diplomats. At the head of the pack and narrating is Candice Hull aka
Candy (Kathy Dunn), your all-American blue-eyed blonde lovely whose
talent in Latin is disproportionate with her driving skills. The
latter is used for early comic relief when Candy flips after a
tarantula (?!) inexplicably comes down in front of her on the school
bus. Scaring teenage girls? Who is this spider, anyways? Ted Nugent?
Despite the minor wreck, all of the
girls safely get to the airport for their school vacation. Candy goes
to London, where her father, John (Hugh Marlowe), is stationed.
Before greeting Daddy, she immediately beelines for Wally (the always
impeccable Murray Hamilton), secret agent and worker for her father.
Wally maybe the cat's meow, but he is also engaged to fellow agent
Soldier (Joyce Taylor,) not that this deters young Candy. Thankfully,
Wally actually has morals and did not attend the Jimmy Page
Gentleman's School of Courtship and quickly rebuffs the 16 year old's
hormone-laced advances.
The worm soon turns when she finds out,
through annoyingly snooping, that Wally's job is in trouble. The main
problem being his ability to obtain crucial information at the right
time. Slack is an element needed in most jobs, but in the spy world?
Not so much. Worried that her #1 crush could end up on the bread
line, she ends up taking matters into her own hands. The name
Kagenescu (Walter Rode) pops up in her father's conversion with Wally
and of course, who does Candy run into while visiting her friend from
China, Mai-Ling (Lynne Sue Moon)? Yeppers, Kagenescu.
Continuing her growing trend of being a
bad guest, Candy immediately starts (yet again) snooping, traveling
via the dumbwaiter. This is one of the best moments in the film,
where a cat, randomly out of nowhere, gets thrown at Candy. Is it one
helluva goony, not to mention cheap, scare? Absolutely, but it is
wonderful in its lack of shame. Anyways, she makes a pit stop in the
kitchen, managing to crawl around the most oblivious kitchen staff
ever and goes to the freezer. It is there she discovers Kagenescu,
hanging from a meat hook and stabbed with her father's letter opener.
She manages not to arouse suspicion, amazingly enough, and excuses
herself home soon after.
Meanwhile, Wally receives a mysterious
note, lettered kidnapper style, along with the murder weapon. Turns
out Kagenescu was killed by Mai-Ling's father, all in the hopes of
starting international trouble with America. The note, signed by
“Kitten,” gives Wally all the juicy info he needs to please his
boss. This lights the espionage fire within Candy-Kitten, who puts
all of her academic talents into studying the fine art of being a
female spy. (All courtesy of a tome entitled, “Methods &
Training of Modern Espionage.”) She practices the art of seduction,
first to cure some love-lorn drama amongst the girls, then to provide
more tidbits to Wally via her Kitten nom-de-plume, ranging from
photos of canoodling world leaders to chess games gone hot-headed.
It's when she tries to further use her
powers of seduction with a Russian Communist masquerading as a Dutch
student, that she starts to truly play with fire. The handsome, in
kind of a Quaalude sort of way, Peter (Garth Benton), is planning to
orchestrate a student uprising, all in the scheme of having a
Communist takeover in a foreign land. Candy narrowly escapes death
after being drugged by Peter and manages to get her well bred
posterior out of the frying pan.
That is, until Wally finds
out who Kitten truly is, all after her Dad keeps putting the heat on
him to reveal this independent agent once and for all. Typical teary
adolescent drama ensues, only to be cut short by the news that
Mai-Ling's daddy has kidnapped Soldier, with the ransom being
non-monetary. Like everyone else on the Globe, they want to know who
this “Kitten” is and want “him” delivered in person. That's
another strange thing, is that everyone assumes that Kitten is a
dude, which seems like it would be a very effeminate nickname for a
super spy. Imagine calling James Bond “kitten” and you will
immediately see my point.
The rest of the film has some
fascinating ziz-zags, some expected, including Mai-Ling getting upset
after feeling used by Candy, but others not so much. Especially the
ultimate and legitimately surprising twist near the very end.
On the whole phantasmagorical spectrum
that is the film work of William Castle, “13 Frightened Girls!”
tends to get mentioned a little less. Granted, compared to the big
daddies that are “House on Haunted Hill” and “Straight Jacket,”
it is easy to see why. First of all, it's not a horror film and even
its gimmick, involving a world wide contest to find 13 lucky and
comely girls from assorted countries to be featured, seems a little
wan in comparison to the more outlandish stunts with the other films.
All that said, the film has a certain
winsome charm and knowing cheekiness that makes it a fun ride. Sure,
Candy is precocious to the point that someone needs to throw a brick
in her general cranium direction and one has to take a pretty hefty
suspension of disbelief that this tow-haired teen could pull off half
of the antics she does. But that is the charm. It's like Castle is
sitting next to you, cigar danging out of his smiling mouth and
winking at you, as if to say, “Can you believe this shit?”
Forget believability, it's a fun,
candy-shell-coated adventure. On top of that, Murray Hamilton is so
good as the warm-hearted and world-weary Wally. Kathy Dunn is
appropriately earnest and energetic as Candy. Of the rest of the
teenage diplomats, the real standout is Gina Trikonis, daughter of
former dancer turned director Gus Trikonis (“The Evil,” “Swinging
Barmaids”), as the Russian representative, Natasha. She gets some
good lines, including snarking on Candy's getting top grades in Latin
while almost killing them on the bus (“a dead language is not worth
dying for”) and possessing all sorts of bitchy verve with a nice
center. Also worth noting is Alexandra Bastedo as Alex/England, who
went on to have roles in the original “Casino Royale,” as well
the top role in the horror-exploitation classic, “The Blood
Splattered Bride.” There's also Judy Pace, who plays the student
from Liberia. Pace went on to have a healthy TV career, having
appeared on shows like “Peyton Place” and “Ironside,” as well
as acting in notable films like “Cotton Comes to Harlem” and
“Frogs.” Both Bastedo and Pace are given little do here other
than smile and look pretty, but it is nice to see that they were able
to build respectable careers on top of their debut work here.
“13 Frightened Girls!” maybe viewed
as a mere curiosity in the silver screen world of William Castle, but
it is sweet, silly and entertaining enough to merit a viewing. The
power of Murray Hamilton and random cats compels you!
